Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
