I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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