Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
