Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize