I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
