the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
