I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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