Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
