how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
