Im at strip club and am horny
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
