oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
