that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Barsexuality is the new black.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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