i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
