i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
