Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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