I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
