I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
