Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
