discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
