he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
