Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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