i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
