You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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