you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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