Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
