The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
