Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
we should paint friendship bongs
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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