I wish life had little blips of pornography
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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