My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
