So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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