Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
either way he was missing a nipple.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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