did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
