im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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