just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
