He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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