It's Friday. Sex?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
