She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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