I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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