But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
