I'm so fucking centered right now
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
