Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize