I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
