i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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