I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
