talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
