After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize