I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
