He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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