Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
