i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
