I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
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Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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