marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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