i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
