If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
