I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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