from now on my penis is your penis
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize