My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
