just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
