I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
