theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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