Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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