i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
