erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
