You made me cry and you don't even care
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
