Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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