Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
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shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
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I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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