you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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