the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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