i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize