The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
