You're my little dorito
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
