I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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