I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just blew my weed a kiss
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
