holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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