Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
