you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
