I have demons in me.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You don't make any sense
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